Tuesday, January 30, 2007

fun with darth.

vader theme'd fun. of course none of this compares to the darthside...


this one seems to be from adult swim. it's the must see clip of the bunch. claymation, i think, and hysterical

not bad... dubbed dialogue fun with field of dreams

Sunday, January 28, 2007

warning. mild ultimate content.

diet tip of week.
a pint of icecream the night before the race is not recommended.
but i'll be daaaaa_________ed if i won't keep dooing it.

Saw Borat tonight. I'm going to check de Toqueville's work out. Because Borat was outrageously on point in it's characterization of the american Zeitgeist. The american pronunciation is appopriate, because we came off ugly.

And it was accurate, if not fair.

I'm looking foward to the DVD and commentary to find out what was 'scripted' and what was 'au natural'. This will be the first DVD I watch the commentary first.

Frisbee thoughts.
This is specific to me. I've not run, (except that i tend to jog around like a UPS guy a lot... really), for months. I manage to get in probably 3 miles per week of, jogging to meet my carpool, jogging in the halls, etc. The weights will help, but, I strongly recommend a minimum of 3, 3 mile runs for 2-3 weeks before even light pick up ultimate. That seems like a silly number, but the stress of running is significantly different from skiing. I intend to do 1 mile warm-up, 1 mile of fartlek, and .5 mile cool down. The conditioning is not an issue, it's simply conditioning to pounding.

In other news, i picked up a new unicycle. It's a custom mountain uni, 26" wheel (most are 24, which i think is like a dirt bike)... so it's well suited for cruising about town. the neatest feature is that there is an air seat: on top of the regular seat is a sleeve, in which a folded inner tube is stashed. This will allow me to ride, without banging, er, ya know. This is important, even though right now, i mainly will be riding up and down my street continuing to develop my water starts (or as i say, warter starts).

Summary of week: Sunday, 10km classic race. 10th overall. best finish ever, but, i mean, the comp was what it was. i'm still craptacular, but, hey, first top 10, so i'll take it. Fell over humorously at the start. uh, heh, heh, meant to do that.

Saturday, 10km skate race. Really blew the carbon out of the engine on this one. 26th, but i missed the start. Maybe as high as 18th w/ a real start. heh, heh, meant to do that.

Friday, no ski, 12 miles of biking. Taught. heh, heh... oh wait.

thursday, 20km of skiing. steady. 6 am squats and lat pulldowns

wednesday, intervals on classic skis. 1min, 2min, 3min, 4min, 3min, 2min, 1min. rest equal to interval length.

tuesday, classic skiing. 10km. easy-ish .6 am squats and lat pulldowns

monday, skate skiing, too short. probably 12 km. moderate.

sunday, rest.

saturday, 36 km race. broken pole. heheh... nevermind.

friday, rest...

i can't remember farther (further?) back than that. lots of intervals.

this coming week i'll taper. not sure how the carpools will work out (and as a bike commuter, i'm usually pond, or pool, obviously not car)...

but here's the plan

monday: 10 min warm up, 5 x 3, 10 minute cool down, 50 min total.
tuesday: 1 hour steady
wed: 6 x 2, w/ 10 warmup and cool down
thursday, rest, and drive 10 hours.
friday, 10 km skate, easy.
saturday, 30 km race.

not much of a taper, but a little. the next week, will 2 days of 5x3 w/ a 15km race at end.
then 1 week base (easy), and one week of easy, one week of one tempo, one interval, with 2 1 hour skis, then, one week of 5x3, 6x2, with 2 'easy, short skis', then a 10km race.

that's what constitutes a taper for me, right now. after the 10km race, a week of easy long, then a week of short intervals, then a 15km race on saturday, and a 30km race on sunday, then i'm into spring break, and the goal is just steady state skiing, and afternoon frisbee. the 'race' season is over at that point, so i'll focus on technique and easy return to base training, and i'm going to train for bike season. i'll play ultimate this year some, but i'm going to shoot to be up to speed by jun 21, not before.

abuh, abuh, a that's all.

oh: diet. focus on small changes. for instance, if you like butter on your pancakes, try switching to a syrup yogurt mix, and cutting out the butter. or at least use less butter, and mix with bananas and microwave. try snacking on fruit during the day, so that you aren't as hungry at night. and move towards portion management. lots of small meals. but do focus on small things. one less cup of coffee. one more apple. one less meal eating out, or get the salad, not the fries. but better to eat out less, and when you do, get the fries. they're just tastier.

victoire! part deux!

yes, i am still the undisputed champion amongst my age group among people of my age group who elect to show up to ski in the race!

suck it, those of you, in my age group, who didn't show up to kick my ass! yeah!

today was the classic leg, which means, you have to do the traditional 'diagonal stride', which looks kind of like a shuffle. you put grippy stuff in the middle of the ski, so when you weight it, it grips, and you get 'kick'. I spent two hours helping getting skis ready for kid skiers. used mine as a test pair for a variety of waxes, which left them... uh, manky. i should have taken the time to fix them, but, they seemed 'ok.' i spent the time left warming up. it was reasonable to think i'd miss my start...

but, with the help of 30 plus people, who kept telling me when the start was i made it.

and then, promptly fell on my face in the start. literally.

it was a pursuit start, which meant, i started behind the guy who finished in front of me, by the time he finished in front of me. i made up some time on him, and basically did ok, but i would have liked to have don better... the course went flat, down hill for about 1.75 km, then turned and climbed, for about 2.5 km, and then a screaming downhill. (total, 5km, 2 laps). so i slowly reel dave in, catch him at the top of the climb, and watch him glide away on faster skis (that's why i think i should have re-done my skis after all the testing)...

i'll try to throw a couple pics up, yes, including the one of me on my face.

all in all a good weekend... 59/68 days on skis. so, some rest, some travel (travel days don't count as rest days, i hope you know what i mean), with lots of hard stuff and long stuff thrown in. the next three weeks will be more restful, but w/ a 30km skate race, a 15km race where you change gear in the middle of the race, and a 10km race that i'm trying to improve my time from an earlier race on the same course. i'll cut my skiing back a little, but i struggle with the fact that skiing for fun is more fun than training for events... this week, a mandatory taper (exams, and travel), next week, 3 days only (all shorter, harder), and the last week, 3 days, all short and fast. goal is to ski the 10km in 32min (weather dependent, of course): by my ridiculously complicated spreadsheets, i'm half way to the 32 min goal (from 37.5min), with no taper. taper research indicates that properly tapering (significant decrease in mileage, like down 80% with all work done at race pace, resultes in high benefits. ex: 29 seconds for 5km runners). that's a lot. If I can get 2 minutes from base, 1 minute from taper, 1 minute from technique improvements, and 1 minute from luck, and 30 seconds from desparation, i'll be there.

i'll let you know.

not breaking a pole, falling over, missing the start... well that's worth negative negative time...

Saturday, January 27, 2007


That's either french for victory, or the name of the new Ford. Regardless, sweet Victory today. Today was a 10k Skate race, and I rolled through the field like a LOCOMOTIVE. At speed, not when it's getting up to speed, and it's real slow, and can't turn...

Take Two:
That's either french for victory, or the name of the new Ford. Regardless, sweet Victory today. Today was a 10k Skate race, and I rolled through the field like a Ferrarri. But a dependable one. And one that's good in the snow.

Take Three:
That's either french for victory, or the name of the new Ford. Regardless, sweet Victory today. Today was a 10k Skate race, and I rolled through the field like a stallion. But not like one that injures an extensor ligament...

Take Four:
That's either french for victory, or the name of the new Ford. Regardless, sweet Victory today. Today was a 10k Skate race, and I rolled through the field like a flippin' magical digital spaceship piloted by someone with an extremely high mitochlorian count. That means, the force was with me.

Yeah. I like-y.

Yes, today, I walked away with my first ever straight up victory in a 10Km freestyle (Skate) race.

And now the rest of the story.

There I was. My 250-300 calorie breakfast of 1/2 cup oats (dry measure), yogurt (dollup), blackberries, banana, and honey have set up perfectly. I've restricted my coffee intake, and hydrated carefully, but not excessively. I've rememberd skis, poles, and boots. Everything else is gravy, but i've brought that too. Hat, ski suit, etc. I'm good to go. A nice easy warm-up just under an hour before race time, then back up to the lodge, to, uh, use the lodge, nuff said, take off warmups, and then back down. Now, 20 minutes before race time, i take a hit of hammer-gel from my hammergell dispenser bottle, sip some more cytomax. And motor around a bit...10 to go... I've been double checking start times with other racers skiing around, and i'm set. I feel flat, but not stale, but i've not tapered at all for this race (And won't until march for the 2 big days at the end of the american masters in bend, a 15km classic and 30km on sat/sunday in late march)... plus, i've been racing a lot, and the whole 'hurts so good' thing is always great after, but everything up until the bell gets the nerves going... But i'm dialed in. I've 6 minutes to go, 3 x 100 or so, speeds to get the rythym, 4 minutes to go, 3 x 60 of double pole only to be ready for the double pole mass start (line up next to in front of or behind 100 other aggressive skiers. flail arms wildly whipping sticks around for 100m. try not to break a pole. enjoy!)... As I return to the start, I notice that the start area is strangely empty... i mean, the high school kids who just finished racing, parents, other coaches, etc, but, where are the other nose/ear hair types... another summit coach looks at me as i quizzically move towards the start, and asks, 'Luke, aren't you racing.'

'yes,' replied luke.
'Well they've started,' said coach peterson.
'yeah, right, good one,' said smith, as his watch clearly indicated 1 minute to go...

but as luke moved further towards the finish, another voice cried out, 'dude, aren't you racing.' Luke became less sure that he was in fact on time. At this point, 1000 people pointed and stared (no, not really), as Luke realized the error of his ways, and dropped the hammer.

Time lost, unknown, but would later turn out to be a couple minutes.

I cranked as best i could and started reeling people in. The two lap race took me by several mockers, i mean supporters. I finished. But, Oh yeah, I won. That's right.

I won....

My age group...


oh well.

Tommorrow, Todays first place finisher starts on classic skis at 10:00 am. The rest of us start based on how far back we finished today. My 2 minute handicap kind of sucks at that point... but no one's fault but my own. 10 km classic race.

More to follow.

Saturday, January 20, 2007


why am i still in ultimate talk? i don't know. but, to answer the criticisms of a recent post, here are my thoughts on diet, and a year round macro cycle of training for ultimate.

1) diet. recently, ultimate prognesceti (i just made up that word) ben wiggins posted a long winded email about diet on RSD. I disagree. If you care to look up ben's diet, do so, but here are my thoughts. Ben focuses on day to day variations of diet, but I think that you should eat well every day, and then, focus on nutrient maintenance on game day.

I have in the past posted longwinded stories that an ultimate players diet should be based on fish, chips, and beer. Here is the truth. That is a bad diet. Your diet should actually be based on the following principles.

1) Many small meals
2) A diet varied, and rich, in fruits and vegetables, minimum 5, and almost no maximum. I aim for 9 servings of fruits and vegetables per day. A serving is a cup of fruit, or a single fruit, like a banana. I typically start the day with either a bowl of oatmeal, w/ 1.5 cup of frozen berries (which i microwave first), and one banana. That is 2.5 servings.
3) To continue the many small meals theme, I include in my feed bag the following. 1 apple, 2 oranges, and a pear. I also include a 1/2 peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a bowl of pasta, chicken, and veggies, and a 1/2 sanwich of HIGH QUALITY DELY STYLE chicken breast, salami, and cheese, and a V-8 6 oz can. I value the fat in that sandwich, and the fruit provides closure on my goal of 9 servings. By 3 pm, i have consumed 7.5 servings of fruit and veggie. I usually have a granola bar, or some almond/raisin trail mix in the feed bag to eat in the 30 minutes following my workout to provide glycogen reloading, and one more serving of veggies (1/4 cup of raisins = 1 serving of veggies). I eat at 5:30 a.m., 9:30 am, 10:30 am, 11:00 am, 1:00 pm, and then the post workout feed. What i eat from the feed bag is based entirely upon what i am hungry for. Protein/Car/Fat/Fruit. Dinner usually includes a salad, usually based on either baby arugula, or mixed frise greens, as they are high in vitamins. Sometimes I substitue a homemade gazpacho. Recipe follows:

32 oz can tomatos
1 jalopeno.
1 spoon of garlic from one of those jars of pre ground garlic

mix with one 8 oz can of V8, 1/2 cucumber, cubed, and 1 slice, home made bread, torn into 1 inch cubes.

season to taste. when lazy, skip steps 8-10, and dip low fat chips in previous mixture.
Note. Yes: that's a salsa recipe. But it's super cheap, and unbelievably high in antioxidants.

sometimes for breakfast (when not lifting weights) i make waffles. i use a mix. Hain brand. Buckwheat variety. Equal to in fiber or exceeding the oatmeal.

FOCUS on a varied diet. Make sure you eat immediately after working out. If weight gain is an issue, make sure that you eat 2-300 calories of carbs after working out, and then fight the FAKE hunger that will come later. Count your calories, and eat a diet that is based on the food pyramid. You think you are: you are not.

Tournaments: Get more salt. Eat many, small, meals. Use cytomax (etc), gu(etc), but use byes to eat sandwiches etc. If you eat enough meals and snacks, you should UNDEREAT at each meal. You should meet you caloric needs by the end of the day, but don't exceed. If you eat too much, it's in the way. If you eat too little, you bonk. I like a feed bag of the following:

Drink: Cytomax or Heed
Protein: Beef Jerkey or Beef Chunks (REI)
Carbs/Vitamins: Dried fruits, especially pinapples, raisins (pinapples provide vitamins not normally in your diet) and RIPE bananas. Do not eat green bananas. Causes digestive blockage.
Carbs: Bagels are fine. Also include fat.
Fat: Nuts. See bagels. Almonds or less good, peanuts. A half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is good too.
Vitamins: Oranges, bananas, tomatoes... whatever your stomach can handle. In the summer, I prefer seasonal peaches, nectarines etc. Easy to digest.
Eat icecream in the evenings, and eat a varied meal of lean protein, veggies, and complex carbs. Sushi is great. Don't eat fast food. The fat is appealing, but if you eat right there is plenty in your other sources of food. You will still crave it. Tough shit.

Ultimate training is a year round commitment. The challenge an ultimate player faces is this. As a new player, you need to play all the time. As an older player, you need to take care of your body. I recommend the following program for a club player. Maintain periodicity. Take 1 day off entirely each week when training high impact (running). Minimal, take a day of active rest (swim/bike). Out of each 12 week macro cycle, take a full week as easy. NO FRISBEE. NO HARD OR LONG RUNNING.

1) Pre season. Mileage, Weights, and Throwing. The goal is to heal old injuries, develop strength, and maintain basic skills. Keep mileage moderate. While running is the best, biking/ swimming/ skiing is acceptable, but be aware that frisbee is a running sport, and some base running is required before sprinting. Weights should focus on major lifts. Bicep curls are worthless. Focus on lifts that accentuate multiple muscle groups and efficiency. Full parallel squats, bench, chin-ups alone are acceptable. Remember that 6-12 reps develops hypertrophy (muscle size) where 1-6 lifts develop power, and 12-20 lifts develop endurance. I recommend periodization. 1 month of 3 sets, 12-20 lifts, then 1 month of 3 sets of 8-12 per set, and 1 month of 1-6, high power lifts. If this is too much, skip every thing, do 3 sets of 3x10. Please don't bother w/ calf raises, curls, ets. Do explosive squats, and chin ups if you do nothing else. If you are fit, now, and in the early season is the time to incorporate plyometrics.

2) Early Season. You will be in maintenance weight phase. Fight the urge to skip weights for practice. The weights help sheild you from injury. Adjust weight to protect yourself. Workouts will move towards speed. Avoid the temptation to run HARD more than 3 days per week. Use weights/cross training/ and stretching to develop the shield you need to prevent injury. Continue to refine your throwing skills. Now you should always include dynamics (high knees, butt kicks, etc., but remember, adequate rest is always required)

3) Season. It's summer. Maintenace lift. 1 to 2 times per week, again, if you are hurting somewhere, this is MORE reason to lift, and less reason to 'run through it'. As your team develops tactics, you personally need to adapt you training to make you a better, more explosive player. Now is not the time to incorporate plyometrics beyond dynamics (which you can, and should include in all warm-ups where sprinting will be included). When injured, do not skip lifting. Focus especially on your mid-glute (accentuated by bar-bell step ups), and appropriate abdominal work. The abdominal core, accentuated by bridging (shoulders on ground, knees at right angle, ball between knees, straighten one leg, while not allowing hips to drop) will benefit.

4) off season. it is best to take one week off for every 12 of training. The challenge is to maintain your health. while you may want to return to frisbee asap, take one week off from training. Here is the frisbee challenge: DO NOT TAKE TOO MUCH TIME. Move into 'pre-season' phase asap. Take time from frisbee. Take as much as 1 month from throwing. DO NOT rest too much. That said, off season is the shortest season. Heal up wounds. If hurt, focus on cross training, and easy training.

OK, diet. exercise.

what do you want more of?

Watching video should improve your play. Strategery and tacticalllity for the next time someone bitches.

race results.

so, not terrible, not terrible. 150 skiers, mass start (there was a 2nd wave too, and a 3rd, high school race behind that). I was jammed, and skiing 18 abreast in a trail groomed into a single lane jeep road... ok, that's hyperbole, but you get the idea... got to the part where we descend 200 meters in like 4 km (trust me it's pretty steep) and i'm doing fine, and then a guy comes by me dressed in a fake muscle suit and a minotaur hat. now, i had skied this section before, and i knew to take it easy, w/ a sharp turn coming, going about 50 km/h or so, i knew i should slow down, but i wait too long... i mean, shit, a CARTOON has just passed me, so i'm running up on him and another guy, i try to speed check and blammo i'm down... i try to roll off to the right, and i get one sweet matrix move in, but an out of control skier (a kid i know) doesn't hit me (thanks matrix move) but i look up, and there's a 6 inch long stick fluttering down in front of me.

i suddenly realize that it's not a stick, it's a chunk out of my, uh, you would think ridiculously expensive, pole. so i hop up, collect the parts (shafts are 100, whole poles, like 150) and keep going. 3 or 4 km later it flattens out, and i get a pole from a course monitor.

it's about (no kidding) 25cm shorter, and it's for the wrong hand... but, i keep going, and about 7km later including a big hill, i see a friend of mine, and he gives me his pole (it's only 3 inches shorter than mine, and the correct hand (left)). i figure i'd lost as much as 6-10 minutes in this time, and i go on to ski pretty well.

i finished in 2 hours, 54th out of 130 or so... if it had been 8 minutes, i'd have been around 30th, which is wish in one hand and you know what in the other territory, of course... but i learned a ton about pacing, as i reached that, 'sometimes you got to say what the eff' stage and worked well...

so it was fun. replaced the shaft after i got home,, bought some groceries, and now i'm resting up for a big evening of nothing. there's a banquet, but i don't have the stomach to go see someone else win a pair of poles in a raffle with a number one off from mine.

tommorrow, probably go ski the course backwards, or just go ski easy for a couple hours.

so, felt good. if i could have said what i'd like to ski the race in, 1:45. If i'd ski'd it in 1:50, that would have been super. i'm excited though. with no taper (yet) my times are improving rapidly, a reflection of somewhat improved technique. so, while vancouver in 2010 is not likely (that's understatement), my main goal, improvement, is being met.


I'm up, reading the news, and getting ready for the 'Great Nordeen' Ski race, a 36km race... luckily it's all downhill, er, except for the parts where it's not. It's not that I can't ski 36 km, it's just that it's too long for me to race well. So, time to suffer it up. I got my new aero haircut goin' though, minus the 4 pounds of afro (and big apologies to the woodowl who had nested up there), so i ought to be cranking.

For about, say 18 km.

Oh well. The conditions are as good as they can get, i should have the skis waxed for the right temperature, i took yesterday off, except for 30 minutes of biking, and that whole work thing, ya know, so it should be good.

In the interest of improving my classroom teaching, i gave a survey to my entire 52 person classroom. The results have conclusively proven that i'm 'too hard (30), too easy (2), awesome (5), a jerk (2) and that in the opinion of many students, 52 is too many for a classroom.'

That was useful. No actually it was. While the results demonstrate the usual things you'd expect about HS students (like 3% will hide behind anonimity to make jerk comments like it's the teachers fault for everything), it was worthwhile to learn that some kids, even high achievers, have a difficult time finding a way to express themselves: I'll probably repeat the experiment.

Of course, It's also clear that students want
1) an 'A'
2) entertainment
3) to do no work
4) to complain that the above teacher is too easy and a joke

if you are
1) hard
2) you are a jerk
3) and you should give easier assignments
4) go slower

I love to hear how kids complain about every possible educational situation. What can I take from this? Continue to refine my craft, work hard, etc. I think I found a few more hours to give. See, I'm putting in about 50-60 hours per week in the classroom and prep and grades, and another 10-18 hours per week as an unpaid coach. But if I stop eating, I can get 8 hours per week. Likewise, if I cut out bathing, thats another 3 hours. And finally, I'm going to cut my sleep to 2.5 hours per night.


the amazing thing is how truly fun and exciting the job is.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

ski, ski, ski...

and work... everyday is pretty similar. up at 5:30. turn on coffee. shower. drink coffee. make breakfast. pack feed bag for work. update school website. go to school. 2/3 days per week lift... teach like mad... ski... eat... home... eat... read... eat... juggle... bed...

sunday, the 'fun race'. 10 'raced' 4 couldn't pay attention and got lost, 2 quit.
monday, 20 km, slow, slow, slow... and easy... tuesday, weights in AM, i dunno 12 k and some pickups with 6 of the km up up up... today, classic skied for a bit, then did 4 x 4 minute intervals... tommorrow, steady state 'easy' ski, (oh, and some morning weights)... friday, rest.

gotta get after the stretching... sore muscles...

starting to get excited about frisbee: generally hard to ski in afternoons after mid march, so it's a great time to start playing frisbee... but i'll miss the 5 and 6 days a week of skiing...

that is all.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

End of the Hard Week

S'Ok, last week was a hard workout week... starting last saturday, intervals, sat, sun, tues, and thurs, took mon and fri off, skied 15 k saturday (5 at near race pace, and 1k at a sprint), skied 15 k today (13 at race pace, changing gear midway from classic to skate in a friendly 'skiathlon.')
Lifted (squat/bench/lat pulldown) on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Played some guitar.

I actually feel suprisingly pretty OK. Tommorrow, probably two to two and a half hours easy. This next 12 days, probably 5 total harder workouts (Say, 3tempo skis, and two interval, with some moderate distance at an easy pace), and start off February w/ an easy week, and then ramp up again.

In terms of Frisbee, well, cool your jets friskee, Mid February is the start of Frisbee Season around here, so it'll be 2 to 3 days per week of me waxing rhapsodic on the virtues of 'dutch drill', big picture v. nuts n' bolts, and how much of an interference it is for me to have to coach in the afternoon when all I want to do is ski.

By April 1, it's Frisbee coaching 5 days per week (although I kind of want to modify that a little this year. I'd still like to ski, and I also give up a lot of my training time to coach). By may it just doesn' t matter. I can train it up after practice ends. So maybe I should just write off April as my low volume recovery month, or ride the trainer.

In terms of personal growth and development as I attempt to stave off the imminent geriatric threat of early onset presenile dementia, my efforts to become a polyglot are stuck in monoglottony, w/ tendencies towards a bit of french studies. The guitar is coming along, i'm faking my way around my screwed up pinky (thanks ultimate!) as I figure out how to play Bb and the like.

Pin juggling is on hold, i need pins of my own.

Speaking of which, now i'm off to read some french.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Lessee, sunday, more intervals, say, 5 k warmup, then 4 x 4 minute classic ski intervals.
Monday, rest day, weights,
Tuesday, 1.25 hr ski, w/ intervals in the middle.
Today, 1.25, easyish ski.
Learned to basically juggle clubs. Still have a way to go, but say... 10 catches? Super fun.
Made salsa, cooking chicken and beans, heat tortillas... mmm...
Aston Villa v. Manchester United while I cook. Might switch over to the NPR...
OK. Oh, listen to the Cow's with Guns link on the right. Good fun.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

10 worst things a teacher could say..

10 things a teacher might say that would be contradictory to the educational process.

  1. How many of you want to go to college -- show of hands. Really? Now keep them up if you still believe in the Easter bunny.
  2. No, I don't believe your bladder will burst if you wait five minutes.
  3. Look, I'm sympathetic, I really am. I'm just not going to do anything about it.
  4. (var)It's not that I don't care, It's just that, oh who am I kidding. I just don't care.
  5. Oh dear. Your file says you are average. Humanity is doomed.
  6. (var)Have you considered joining a monastery? yes the catholic kind. right, no kids for you.
  7. How 'bout a nice warm cup of shut the f&^K up?
  8. Oh, could you just grow a pair?
  9. All this, and $6.50 an hour.
  10. No, I was not always this cynical. I used to give half a shit.

Note. This is SATIRE. If your irony-meter is stuck in sarcasm, well then you are probably one of my students. If you are critical of these statements, meant to be humorous, well, I refer you to the bill of rights, and ask you to leave.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

don't call me romo.

"In a back-and-forth game that ultimately hinged on a botched 19-yard field goal in which Tony Romo bobbled the hold, the Seahawks survived 21-20 on Saturday night to send Dallas into disarray" From ESPN

I watched in horror as Tony Romo huddled in shame on the bench. I wanted to go over and tell him, shit, Cowboy, we've all screwed up before.

But then I realized, we haven't all 'bobbled the snap that would have led to the game winning field goal in front of 60,000 people.'


I went skiing today. (No kidding, says someone, somewhere, sarcastically).

The road to the mountain was closed due to howling winds. So around Noon, went up w/ one of the coaches, and did intervals. Well first we skied oh, 5 k, then we did 4, 4 min intervals in fairly heavy ungroomed snow.

So it was inelegant, but sweet. I love intervals.

Friday was an easy classic ski. IN the pitch black. And my head lamp sucks. (too cloudy for moon to help). It was awesome.

Thursday was a 1.25 hour skate ski in crummy grooming, in a huge storm. Also, awesome.

Tommorrow, 2 hour classic ski, with 3 x 3 minute intervals (monday is rest, er... except for all that teaching stuff)... but it'll depend on the weather...

Ate like a champ... waffles/fruit/yogurt... little later, more of same... skied... pear, pinapple juice, baked potatoes, meat, cheese, carrots, hummus, salad, shopped, got my new vest (broke the zipper on last one, nice factory warranty, thanks desente

oh wait... then i ait more. black beans, rice, and kale greens in a broth... yummm...

Tommorrow, if i don't ski, i'll grade the other 32 sets of essays (each set is 5 essays), (18 done), and er... eat.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

another day in paradise...

... but it's raining like hell. and about 32 at the mountain, 42 here... white rain all around. a shit-ton of new snow. but too warm for good skiing. i'll hit it tommorrow, when it should be 1.5 feet of fresh, and a high of -7 C... perfect... But significantly, this is the first day i've not skied Since Dec 18th, which, along with the 15th, 11th, and the 8th, and the 4th. And 3 days in november. Pretty much the only days I haven't skied Since november 18th. So something like 37 days thus far. And yes, the ski suit needs washing. But not 38 days worth. Like 2 or 3.

...today, i made a list of things to do... kind of a year end thing, and making a list of things to do is easier for me to do than doing. casualty of the great ritalin experiment of the 1990's. Ritalin worked great for me for the year or two i took it. 4.0 at college, dedicated in my workouts, and then one day, i ran out of Ritalin. And I forgot to get more.

Flash forward to now, well, I'm more of a 'big picture' guy now...

Here's the way the list started...

Yearly Goals
1) Always get grading done on time. Eff that.
2) Achieve improvements at Nordic Skiing, Biking and 5K times. Certainly do-able, and enjoyable.
3) Coach, and play frisbee from March until, say, mid september. Maintain form, attend 3 tournaments. 3 Doesn't seem like a lot, but it's a drive to get to most tourneys worth, especially, 'competetive' ones. But it will force me to be consistent with my stretching, and help with everything else. Plus, it's fun...
4) Oh, improve my teaching trade craft, blah, blah... i should probably throw that in there...
5) eat out less. Add additional savings towards retirement...
6) Juggle 5 balls (ambitious)
7) Continued Improvement w/ guitar.

I'm not even going to bother with like, keep room clean, etc...

That's close enough to 10.

This brought me to daily goals...

1) Ride trainer for 2 hours. I went and got a video of the 1999-2000 world cup cross country pursuit, so i'll have something to look at. but i need the LSD (long slow distance) of a bike, more than i need to run, so... I'll probably do this. Especially if it means skiiping
2) Clean room
3) Organize garage, do laundry
4) Grade papers (52 of them, 6 essays each)
5) Play guitar... (A-hA! now we're back in the realm of realistic, achievable goals)
6) Juggle.. ditto
7) Read some Harry Potter in French, or do some excercises in French.

Just to round it out to 10, let's combine 2-4 into some more realistic goals. I know it sounds like i'm just eliminating the onerous chores in favor of screwing around on my computer, and doing some more palatable tasks...

8) Prep skis. Done and Done... well, i'll get around to it.
9) Clean wax box. Ok, fine, whatever.

Hey look something shiny...

But the new year is a time for fun-lists as well. And since i have no real desire to do anything 'relevant' or 'productive' Here's my list.

Top 10 names I would want to name my kid, if i ever get married, and ever have a kid. You see how productive this is. But my dad wanted to name me Huckleberry Finn Smith, and while I'm pretty happy with my name, and well, with me, I think I might change my name to Huckleberry Finn Smith. Or Joe Kick Ass.

10) A category: Boys names based on Automobile names. You might think these are stupid, but you have no creativity. Big shout-out to my friends at Jeep. I mean, CRV just doesn't roll off the tounge, and western themed names can't be beat.
Laredo, Commanche, Lariat, Cherokee, Ranger, Bronco (although, i prefer Bronko), Eagle, Mustang, Trooper (the one japanese entry in the top 15), Cougar, Jaguar, Rover, Commander. You pick 10, and it's a top 10 with in a top 10

Cars that failed the test Cimarron (worst Caddy ever, basically a Chrysler K-Kar), Pinto, DeLorean, 325i, and Caravan, Gremlin

6) Girls names basded on automobiles. (yes, I just skipped 9-7, you think i'm really going through with this whole process?) Corvette. Miata. Marquise. Lexus. Alero. Lumina. Actually, most of these are not as good. I just can't imagine burdening a daughter with the name Alero.

Special Mention: Invicta Black Prince Wentworth and Vincent Black Shadow.

1) Tonk Blartron Smith.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


this morning, classic ski'd. in case you don't know, here's the wiki for nordic skiing. my kick wax was awful, and has been every time i've gone for about a week and a half, after about 10 other days of beautiful classic skiing. the conditions have been marginally harder to wax for, but i've decided that the main reason is simply not enough wax for the skis, or i weigh less than i think, or both. they are fairly stiff skis, and i am fairly light, for winter standards.

tommorrow, i'm going to try, more wax! crazy.

the ski was 30 minutes of drills with the students, and then, 30 minutes of just skiing, while working on various specific techniques for 90 seconds a pop.

then i came home, ate more, played guitar, and went skiing again. this time, a full moon skate ski. should have left later, as the clouds were far less of an issue than i thought they'd be. the apparently gray sky was actually a VERY thin layer of clouds, and it was good light for skiing. the track was icy after the warm day, which affected my technique: when it's that 'fast' it's difficult for me to commit to the ski, basically, i get going too fast for the dim light to maintain good balance and form. that said, the intervals were productive.

after a 15 minute warm-up, 4, 4 minute intervals. with 4 minutes rest. the intervals were basically uphill, then flat, then back uphill. then a 10 minute cool down.

Frisbee corner. If you do a winter training program, intervals are great. Do a month or more of just base first, then intervals for a month. If you are running (instead of biking), be extra careful to go easy, or better yet, bike or swim easy on your off days as running is higher impact.

then, a noodle/stirfry, and ice cream.

big storm coming, w/ 11 inches predicted for wednesday night, 2 feet or so for the storm. Thursday should be awesome skiing on the down hill side. Racing saturday. School is on the horizon. Garbage is getting picked up tommorrow.

That's all.

Monday, January 01, 2007

happy new years

friday, a brief ski that felt... awful... that night... food poisoning. they say your body doesn't remember pain. that said, at the moment said alien tried to burst from my stomach, i in fact remembered vividly, my last battle w/ the microbial beast.

so i didn't ski on saturday, ski'd sunday, for 7km classic, then 7 km skate, then helped host a clinic (note, i say host: we had real talented coaches that did the real teaching) that involved say, 7km plus 3 other say 1 km 'technique sessions', then home for dinner, and then back for another say 6 km? what's that? think it's a lot.

today. raced a leg in a 3 x 3 new years relay. so i'm officially calling it a rest day. passed on the 'new year's frisbee game, as it was, well, a rest day... and i'm sort of in training...

tommorrow (and all week) the plan is one day per week ski, some weights... we're expecting a big dump (say 2 or more feet) of snow later in the week, so, i'll probably go telemark or alpine on those days... if i do, i'll probably skip the weights on those days.

sigh back to school in... WAIT... oh yeah. one more week of vacation.

ate sauteed kale greens and black-eyed peas for dinner, supposed to bring money and luck in the new year. i've been remiss the past few years. we'll see.

played a little guitar, studied some french, might MIGHT go ski the full moon again tonight... weather dependent, i think it's cloudy...