afdad

What follows is a true story.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Tuesday 7 am, I go to start my car. It disagrees. After pumping the gas, etc., I look under the car. Lo and behold, my gas line is severed. “Whoa, I think. I must have hit a speedbump too hard.” A note. I tend to drive my 25 year old car like a grandpa, unless there is snow, or speed bumps involved. Where speed bumps are concerned, I go with a 'speed is safety' approach. Where snow is concerned, I tend to go with a 'rear wheel drive rocks.'

Cut to Wednesday night at the BBC. I retell the story for the 4th time of the day, when Scott notes. “Seriously. How far could your car have run with NO GAS.” I'm a pretty trusting fellow. And frankly, what's the value of assuming that my pump was stolen. However, the fact that 2 feet of hose was missing should have tipped me off.

Well, I’m a trusting soul, but I’m wondering if perhaps, my Graduatiing seniors on ‘Senior Campout Night” stole it as a prank. That evening I board the senior bus as a chaperone, and after discussing the graduating requirements (any drugs, alcohol, or beachballs will be met with tasering) I ask, “and by the way, did any of you steal my fuel pump?” I retell the story to the gang (my first bunch of kids I’ve taught 4 years, and several note, “well, it’s funny, but we’d go to jail.” I'm pretty sure none of them were drunk (they breathalyzed), but i'm not sure they weren't inebriated.

Either I taught them well, or I taught them too well.

Cut to Friday. Work ends, and I decide to go for a run. I make it all of one block, when I notice another old Volvo. With racing stripes. And all f$%$ up.

With a pile of automobile parts underneath the car. I jog home, and call 911. It turns out, when you do that with a cell phone, it locks up the phone, and causes all sorts of problems. Eventually I return to real world, and within 10minutes, an officer, Officer “P____” is on hand.

I’ve had extensive experience with the police, as my repeated “Yes Officer. Thank you sir,” demonstrates. I relaxed with a 'whush' when he was done, then checked myself, and realized I was not being investigated.

He leaves, and goes to investigate.

I go on my run. Pretty good run: 7 miles, with the middle 3 miles in about 20 minutes. Total time 50 minutes.

After a thrilling hour, I return home. I’ve literally been home for 5 minutes, when the officer returns, and knocks on the door.

“We got your fuel pump back.”

so, Great. I got a gasoline soaked pile of rags on the deck, and some dude out there who thought fuel pumps cost 500 dollars (his story to the cop). Sadly, this 100 dollar part is going to cost someone a lot of shit. And for me, I'll have to deal with the tow. Conceivably, I'll get paid back from the crime. but, It's nice to solve the crime myself.